Tuesday, April 27, 2010

First Real Positive Post!

I got this article the other day off a list serve I belong to. It is kind of long, but worth the read. Read it and let me know what you think! How many of us have students like this in our classrooms?

As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big 'F' at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... He is a joy to be around.'

His second grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle.'

His third grade teacher wrote, 'His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken.'

Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class.'

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume.
But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, 'Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to.'

After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her 'teacher's pets..'

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, 'Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference.'

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, ’Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you.'

(For you that don't know, Teddy Stoddard is the Dr at Iowa Methodist in Des Moines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.)

9 comments:

  1. This is such a powerful reminder that we don't always know the circumstances and situations our students are faced with. It should also give us a better perspective towards how we treat our students, talk with our students, and try to motivate our students. The best teachers are the ones who go beyond the curriculum and become teachers of life. I am blown away by this incredible story and hope that more people are motivated to seek out the troubled child instead of running away from the problem after reading this. Isn't this how we would want our story to be written if we were Teddy? One person truly can make a difference....I love it!

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  2. This was such an encouraging story! It reminds me to take a breath, slow down and focus on what really matters. we need to be meeting our students needs where THEY are every day, so great!

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  3. Thanks for the comments guys! I was hesitant to post this story because I want this blog to be more about OUR personal experiences instead of some that we looked up and found somewhere. However, I do think it is a powerful story to help motivate us to have similar experiences. My goal is to be able to have some story like this to post in the near future.

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  4. In my experince, if there is someone I find I am not feeling positively about, it is generally because I do not know them well enough.

    Just this morning I was helping with a small group activity in class that included a student who I find rather challenging to work with. He is actually a very bright student with fabulous thinking skills. However, he tends to blurt out random things and talk continuously while the teacher is giving instruction. This makes my job as a sign language interpreter VERY challenging!

    Today I was surprised to observe how badly the other students in the group treated him. He seems to be so desperate for attention that he is willing to do just about anything, including constantly being obnoxious and annoying students and staff, just to be noticed.

    Though a lot of the way he is treated is due to his own behavior, today I got a glimpse of the awkward, personable student who just needs to be noticed.

    I look forward to getting to know him better.

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  5. Excellent insight Carmela! These are the types of things I'm hoping that we can learn together through this blog. It is so sad how our students so often turn to acting out to get the attention of others.

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  6. I love the story of Mrs. Thompson and Teddy. It is so easy to focus on the one student who doesn't follow the rules versus the students who do.

    We who teach want to save the world and when it appears that we aren't, we crumble and panic. We have to believe that if we do our best, God will do the rest because all we can do is plant the seed but He has to make it grow.

    I have learned to focus on the students who want to learn first, then try to deal with the students who have issues that are, most of the time, beyond my control.

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  7. I too have "Teddy" story but instead it was a "Jason" Story. Jason ended up in my 6th grade classroom after being a terror in every class he had entered. The talk around school was jokingly "Take the year off when Jason comes your way as you will never have success in trying to teach Jason. His behavior will have him in the Principal's office or most often under suspension for one of his misdeeds."

    I had seen Jason many times in previous years sitting in the office, barely able to keep himself still. Little did I know that our paths would end up with Jason as my student and a life changing year for both of us.

    The first thing I did that August day when learning that Jason had been placed in my classroom was to break a rule I had as a teacher. That rule was to not look at a student's permanent record during the first part of the year. I wanted each student to start fresh and let their performance in my classroom drive my planning and opinions for the year rather than looking at past performance. With Jason though I knew so much about the negative that I had never heard anything positive about this kid. Maybe, I would find some nugget of hope in his 3 inch thick file. (To be continued)

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  8. Jason’s file provided me with many answers but also with many new questions. Jason physically matched up with other 6th grade boys but he was full 15 months younger than the next youngest classmate. Why was he allowed to jump start 1st grade when he had not even attended kindergarten? His academic scores were all over the map. Reading scores were very low up until 3rd grade and by 5th grade his scores showed him reading at an 8th grade level. His writing was not legible as evidenced by some of his sample work in the file. His math scores showed a deficiency in timed tests but above grade level in problem solving activities. Notes from past teachers said he was a disruption in the classroom, rarely listened, and had few friends. Jason had been tested for the district’s gifted program in 4th grade but his scores were not high enough. One score in “Visual Spatial” though was at the 99th percentile. He had been suspended 9 times for various infractions including breaking into a temporary building on the weekend.
    His home life details were difficult to comprehend. His father was an alcoholic and was now serving a life sentence for a crime too gruesome to detail here. His stepfather was also serving a life sentence for raping his 24 year-old sister. His mom worked full time and often did not arrive home until 7-8 p.m., leaving Jason in the care of his high school aged brother.
    Jason and I had an up and down first month. He challenged me daily but also was getting the idea that I was there to help him get successful. The one score that kept popping up in the back of my cluttered mind was that Visual Spatial score. I learned as much as I could about this way of thinking. For Jason there was not other way. He processed everything in pictures rather than words. He would often catch the first sentence or two, but his extra time to process the words into images caused him to miss most lengthy directions. Jason was a terrible speller, but teaching him to spell visually by seeing the whole word in his mind ended up into an almost freakish ability. Give Jason any final round spelling bee word, let him look at it for 30 seconds, he could then turn away and spell it perfectly both forwards and backwards!
    I could go on and on about the successes and failures I had in trying different things out with Jason that year. I was exhausted by the end of the week just trying to keep up with this kid. I was thankful to find two experts in the Denver area who had done research in the Visual Spatial child and had published many helpful articles: Linda Silverman and Jeffrey Freed. Look them up if you have a student like Jason.
    Jason made me a better teacher for future classrooms. I learned to always find out the positive in every student and to steer each student towards success. Some get to that door naturally but others like Jason needed to be guided along the way. Students do not all learn the same way and Jason was surely the poster boy for that movement. Too many students find themselves listening to the experts tell them what they cannot do rather than focusing on the positive. Success is a motivator that must be a part of everyone’s growth plan.
    So what became of Jason? In a perfect T.V drama of the week, Jason and I would join Big Brothers at the end of our year together. I would become his mentor for the next 6 years, seeing him attain Eagle Scout ranking, acceptance into a High School International Baccalaureate program, and successful entrance into a local college. Today Jason would be 22 and entering his first year of Medical school after spending six months working in a hospital in Ghana. Yes, that would be quite a good ending to this story- an ending that I can proudly say is true. Jason realized the strengths that he had and used them to create a successful future.
    There are Jason’s in every classroom. What you do in finding and using their strengths will go a long way towards not only helping your students reach their own potential but also yours as a teacher.

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  9. Greg, that is an awesome story! Truly inspirational, just like Teddy's story. Often we are only captured by the great and famous stories, but in reality oftentimes the grand and the great don't happen. 'Small' stories like yours are more common, when we touch one student at a time.

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